Sometimes, meditation can feel like a lonely activity or even a slightly selfish one. After all, it’s something you’re doing on your own, to benefit yourself. Even while meditating in a group, you’re generally focused on yourself, with your eyes closed. As such, meditation doesn’t seem like something you’d do to improve your relationships. However, research suggests otherwise.
Let’s face it, every couple gets out of tune at some point. You and your partner lead busy lives. In the modern world, there’s just a lot of hustle and bustle— too much technology and temptation, too little time and money.
By the time you’re able to sit down together for a few minutes, each one is running at a different rate. You have work on your mind, food in your mouth, and you’d probably rather talk about how your day has been rather than listening to your partner talk about theirs. You’re simply out of tune.
Although this might not be the issue you’re facing, there are those inevitable times when your egos clash and difference collide, or needs are not met. It’s easy to get upset because you want your partner to be different from how he or she is. One of the hardest things to accept in a relationship is perhaps the fact that you can’t change the person into the partner you want them to be. The only thing you can change is your attitude towards them.
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However, in order to keep sparks flying, it’s essential that you have rituals in place to reconnect amidst the inevitable chaos of modern living. There’s strong evidence that daily couple meditation can be one of the rituals that enhance relationships.
Couples who meditate together, stay together
Meditation essentially creates an entirely new peaceful space for you and your partner to share together. Even more exciting, people who’ve recently started dating or have just met can meditate together, helping them form a bond that cannot be replicated even by months of getting to know each other.
In any kind of relationship, it takes time to know someone and get close to him or her. Before that time, you’ve no idea what kind of obstacles you may face in your journey of building the relationship. Time is essential for the process, but if you want to build a close bond early enough, meditating with your partner is such a great way to start.
Meditating with your new interest builds a different kind of intimacy that essentially forges a unique bond between both of you. Meditating with someone else might seem a little strange, especially when starting out. This is because meditation has long been perceived to be built for seclusion and solitude. Nonetheless, considering the core principles of meditation, meditating with a partner suddenly makes more sense. The core principles of meditation are as follows:
Money, work, and health are examples of distractions entrenched in our personal lives. They can be obstacles in our own lives, and even create major obstacles in our relationships. But they are also things that we can remove from our minds through proper meditation, thereby creating the stress-free clarity that we desire. Meditating with your partner lets the both of you remove these distractions from your minds so you can take time to focus on each other.
Limiting judgments of each other
It’s easy to make quick judgments about other people. Along with the positive things that you may love about your partner, there are inevitable negative things that may slip into your thoughts. Regardless of the judgments being made, meditation allows for no judgment. When meditating with someone you are interested in, you ideally put yourselves on the same level. Starting a relationship on the same level builds a strong foundation for your future together.
In individual meditation, awareness is achieved when our senses are heightened in such a way that we consciously feel what’s around us and attain a peaceful state of mind. When meditating on your own, the sense of touch is not explored much. However, when meditating with a partner, touch plays a vital role in enhancing your bond. Touching connects two people closer together than any other form of communication can.
Couple meditation helps you through the tough times
Couple meditation provides a great way for you and your partner to bond and tune yourselves to one another. When you take a few minutes of your day to meditate with your partner, you significantly increase your chances of having a more intimate connection and meaningful interaction with your partner. Meditation is a great way of aligning your psychological rhythms and your emotional state as a couple.
Meditation also allows you to realize your responsibility for your own feelings and reactions in the present moment. If you can take a step back from the heat of a conflict and observe why your partner makes you react a certain way, it will quickly become clear that it has little to do with them and more to do with something within you.
The difficulties you experience in your relationship can demonstrate the different ways that your ego tries to be right, and how self-centeredness can easily take over. Too often, you may want to cling to the difficulties and make them bigger than they are. You find yourself replaying the irritation in your head until you become more upset. The ego simply doesn’t want you to let go!
Yet, when it finally does, what a relief; you can now return to a place of balance. Meditation is, therefore, a vital ingredient in this shared journey. It lets you be in accord as a couple and gives you the openness to accept each other’s faults, love each other, and see each other as you are without illusions and judgments.
Within that shared silence, the power struggles (me vs. you) and the one-upmanship dissolve. The separation and hostility just drop away, leaving only presence. Lasting relationships are built on not how compatible you are with your partner, but by how well you can accept each other’s neuroses and can resolve or deal with any existing incompatibilities.
How to attune to your partner through couples meditation
In any given moment, you’re living at a specific frequency, at a specific emotional level, and at a specific energy level. While your partner could be aware of how you’re feeling at a certain moment, chances are that they have no idea how you’re actually feeling. Even more to this point, you probably don’t have any idea how your partner is feeling right in this moment.
With mindful meditation, you train yourself to be in touch with how you’re feeling in the present. Couples meditation can essentially extend this experience to your partner, by allowing them to become aligned to your emotional state, and therefore more receptive to exactly where you are in the present moment. Likewise, you become more aligned with the energetic and emotional state of your partner.
In fact, couple meditation involves bringing the partners into resonance. Whenever two musical instruments are tuned to each other, they resonate beautifully, which is true even for couples. While in resonance, there’s less fighting and more loving within the relationship. The couple is happy together lovingly and mindfully.
Meditation Gives your Perspective and Curbs your Stress
Many people experience a lot of stress during the day. Worse, some bring this stress back home. Consequently, their partner gets the brunt of it; bad moods, short fuse, and lack of affection. This kind of pattern can create distance over time. However, meditation can help you keep a positive outlook by helping to regulate your emotions, such as anger and stress.
One key reason to meditate as a couple is due to its impact on your perspective. With meditation, you’re more likely to see the bigger picture and prevent you from sweating over the small stuff. This way, you feel more grateful for what you have. Gratitude is actually a great predictor of love that stands the test of time. Keep in mind that we tend to get used to the people we are with and what we have over time, and we can eventually start taking them for granted. At this point, it’s easy to start focusing on what’s wrong with your partner and forget why you fell in love in the first place.
Grateful people are much more satisfied with what they have in their relationship and feel close to their partner. Gratefulness allows you to appreciate the good qualities of your partner and stay focused on your relationship. In turn, your partner will certainly feel appreciated, and your bond strengthens.
Relationships can be quite complex. Even among couples that meditate together, problems might still develop. However, there’s a good chance that since you meditate together, you will avoid unnecessary drama and some boneheaded decisions. The best part is that neither of you will ever know how much you were spared, thanks to your daily ritual of couple meditation.