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Discovering Self-Love|woman giving herself a hug|man playing guitar on couch|woman looking out with hair blowing in wind|woman smiling with hand on head

Health & Wellness

All About Self-Love

Many people spend their days fretting and fussing about whether they will ever find love in their life . It is almost as if it were an elusive external element only to be unlocked through the arcane arts of courtship and romance. But this often distracts from that one special love relationship that will ultimately bring the most satisfaction.

We are all deeply connected with our uniqueness. We are fully aware that despite the similarities we share with friends and family, there is no one on earth quite like the self. While we try our best to follow our instincts, coddle our desires, struggle with our dark sides, and balance our emotions, true self-love is often overlooked.

We all deserve to be loved, but we have an innate right to be loved by ourselves. It is easy to feel proud of ourselves when we are in good health and increasing our capacity for progress, but it is just as important to consider how we feel when things are bleak and we feel our lowest. At times like this, the only one you can really count on to hold you up and know exactly what you need to make a comeback is you.

Furthermore, the love we will have to give our relations and our world will be of the same value as the love we have for ourselves. To enjoy deeper relations and trust it is important to cultivate these elements within before we can provide it externally.

woman giving herself a hug


5 Steps to Cultivating Self-Love


Practice Positivity


It is easy to be negative about the weather, traffic, and the unkind neighbor, but if you are going to extend the olive branch to anyone, let it be yourself. Practicing positivity is one of the easiest gifts to give yourself and one that never stops giving benefits to the health, mind, and social relations.

You will eventually have to face the fact that you can’t change everything you don’t like about yourself, but you can change your perspective. Choosing to be kind, gentle, and compassionate with yourself will allow you to apply these positive approaches with those in your life. This makes for a very contagious environment of positivity.

man playing guitar on couch


Identify your Strengths and Emphasize them


Finding your strengths and promoting them is great for self-esteem, which goes hand-in-hand with self-love. Finding what you love to do and doing it well are two crucial elements in creating flow, a state of full-absorption in an activity. According to the experts, the state of flow is where the happiest moments of our lives take place. 1

So, if you like to practice music, find some way to challenge your skills and increase your grade as a musician. If you are skilled in the kitchen, take on more complex and demanding dishes. Whatever you do, choose to invest your energy and efforts in pursuits that will pay back in the satisfaction of achievement.

Identify your Sources of Power


The power you need to be the best version of yourself will come from a select set of exterior sources. By recognizing these you will be better able to access your “go-to” remedies for when you are feeling lost, confused, undeserving, or despondent.

This could be the company of a special someone, the flavors of a special dessert , the advice in a good book, or even the indescribable vocals in your favorite songs. By knowing the foundations of your emotional and mental well-being, you will have more sturdy confidence. Self-confidence is another cornerstone in building self-love.

woman looking out with hair blowing in wind


Allow Yourself to Let Go


If you say yes to one thing, you will probably have to say no to something else. Often times it is clinging onto past pains, traumas, and habits that keep us from achieving our potential. Having the strength to release toxic habits and relations frees up space and resources that can better be applied in empowering your life and bringing you closer to your goals.

Give and Receive Love


Treating your physical body as a container of self-love will not only increase your capacity for love, but your health, energy levels, and even cognitive functions. A new perspective will call for changes in the way you nourish, engage, relax , and maintain your body. This can begin with healthier eating and increased physical activity that will begin to balance energy levels and improve moods and emotions.

Just like romancing your love interest, you can then think of ways to enhance the relationship or gift yourself with tokens of your self-love. Aromatics like essential oils are a pleasurable token of kindness and positivity and can excite the senses even in the midst of emotional crisis.


Meditation is a good way to reintroduce yourself to your mind, mental processes, and spiritual side from a position of non-judgment. If you are ready to take your relationship with yourself to the next level, consider the practice of mindfulness.

woman smiling with hand on head


Final Notes on Self-love


As with any good relationship, it will not be the large monumental gestures that win self-trust, self-love, and the heaps of benefits that they can bring. Rather, it will be the small actions, commitments to positivity, and incremental improvements that lead to the joy of self-acceptance and confidence.

Photo credits: shurkin_son/shutterstock.com, DeanDrobot/shutterstock.com, mmkarabella/shutterstock.com, AntonioGuillem/shutterstock.com, FlamingoImages/shutterstock.com

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